3rd trimester energy

I am so exhausted. I wish I had the energy now I had when I was in my 3rd trimester. I built furniture, walked everywhere, rearranged our one bedroom apartment, worked out constantly. I wish they made a drug called third trimester... oh wait they do it's called cocaine.
The world should be run by women in their third trimester. The pregnant president would be like I fixed global warming, balanced the budget, and made everyone in the world rich all before my lunch break.
The day I went into labor I got so many things on my to do list done that I had been putting off. I felt really relaxed... until the contractions started.
Now that I am taking care of a a dog and baby when I am done with them I take a nap... which leaves me no time for myself. I listened to Bruno Mars' "Lazy Song" which talks about how he isn't going to do anything all day and it made me cry because I don't have that option anymore. The only way for me to do nothing is to put the dog in daycare and hire a babysitter.

Mom Guilt

My baby is officially 6 weeks old. I can't believe it was only 6 weeks ago that my world was turned upside down. She's so young but I already suffer from tons of mom guilt. Did I let her cry to much? Should I hold her more? Am i a bad mom because I can't breast feed?
The worst part is I also have mom guilt with my dog and wife guilt with my husband.
My friend told me I just need to be a good enough mother. True, but I can't help from wanting to be the best mother in the world and it's hard because I have already made so many decisions that I had to change after the fact.
So my goal as a parent is to be the best parent I can be and to remember that my first decision won't always be the right one but as long as I am flexible enough to change for the good of my daughter it's ok.

The First Pooper, Peeer, and Puker

A year ago my dog Freckles came into my life. He was so adorable but little did I know he was going to turn my life into a blur of poop, pee, and puke. First off we had to train him. Which took a while and involved my husband and I cleaning his pee and poop in our apartment, standing outside at 2 am waiting for him to pee and poop, and calling and texting each other... "did he poop?" "did he pee?" constantly.

Once we got that figured out we found out he had gairdia, which is a parasite that causes diarrhea. That was fun. He pooped everywhere and would wake us about 6 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. We got no sleep and we were covered in poop. This stage ended with him pooping in the bed all over us at 3 am. It was like the movie Trainspotting for dogs.

There is nothing as scary as waking up covered in dog poop.

We also had to bring samples of his poop to the vet once a week for 2 months. FUN!

When he got over the giardia he still had diarrhea and we found out he had a food allergy. This meant we had to try lots of different dog foods and when they didn't work you guessed it he got explosive diarrhea. Finally we found a food that works... rabbit. Yes you heard me right my dog is allergic to all protein sources except for the Easter Bunny. I have nightmares about what happens when my daughter realizes her cuddly best friend eats Bugs Bunny for breakfast.

While all this was going on our dog suffered acid indigestion and he would through up yellow stomach bile all over our apartment so we had to give him Pepcid AC.

Now he is a happy dog who is for the most part over his poop, pee, and puke stage but it was exhausting getting him over it.

We spent tons of money on vets bills, medicine, and dog food. I am now a master at cramming pills and liquid medicine down a dog's throat, and I know all about food allergies.

Before I had my daughter I thought all of this was an unfortunate stage in my life. But guess what... my daughter has a food allergy reflux. When the pediatrician talked to me about she might be allergic to the protein source in her formula I understood what to do. When I have to shove medicine down my daughter's throat I am a pro because I don't have to worry about her biting me with sharp teeth. When she pukes on me it is no big deal because I am used to it.

Now instead of talking about Freckles' poop, pee, and puke, my husband and I are constantly talking and texting each other about our daughter's poop, pee, and puke.
"did she poop?"
"did she pee?"
"what does her poop look like?"
"what color was her pee?"
"how many times did she vomit on you today?"
"honey, will you bring her poop into the pediatricians office... I will do ANYTHING if you do it!"

It's a lot easier dealing with this the because Freckles trained us well. So I never thought I would say this but Freckles... on our one year anniversary of being your dog parents... Thank you for teaching us all about poop, pee, and puke,

Google Image Search

I just did a google image search on poop pee and puke to try and get a picture for my blog background. Guess what came up... tons of pictures of babies. I guess I am not the only one who gets the triple P from their bundle of joy.

The New Me

Today is the start of the new me. On March 11, 2011 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is amazing and I love her but these past 6 weeks have not been what I thought they would be. Instead of coming home with a chubby cherub baby I cam home with a noisy gremlin baby who mostly poops, pees, and pukes on me and never lets me sleep.

I thought I had was getting postpartum depression but really I am just tired... beyond tired. There should be a new word created for how exhausted new parents are.

I am also insecure and my ego has been taken down a few notches. I thought I had motherhood all planned out. When I was pregnant I was sure I was going to be a breast feeding attachment parent who was with her baby at all times. Turns out I am really a formula feeding mom who is sleep training her baby and lets the grandparents babysit as much as possible because I am a better mom when I have LOTS and LOTS of ME TIME.

I was laughably unprepared to be a mom. Why don't people warn you about the real struggles of parenthood? I took tons of parenting classes while I was pregnant and nothing prepared me for my daughters first 6 weeks. Maybe it's because if people really talked about it no one would have kids and the human race would die out.

Yesterday I had my 6 week postpartum appointment and I felt like a had survived a war. I expected my doctor and all the nurses to throw me a party and get me a cake that said "Good Job!" Nothing of the sort happened. it was just another day for everyone at my doctor's office.

The good news is the doctor gave me the okay to work out which I am so excited about. I love working out. It puts me in a better mood and gives me an excuse to be alone. Today I ran for the first time in over 9 months and I felt like myself for the first time in a while. It made my day a little better even though I am still sleep deprived.

And today I only got puked on once so maybe it really is the start of the a new chapter for me!

Gotta go and check on that crying gremlin.